Episode 213: Living with cerebral palsy & learning disabilities – with Aashna Parikh

The episode transcript is below.

Carolyn Kiel: Welcome to Beyond 6 Seconds, the podcast that goes beyond the six second first impression to share the extraordinary stories of neurodivergent people. I’m your host, Carolyn Kiel.

Carolyn Kiel: On today’s episode, I’m speaking with Aashna Parikh, a Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (or DEI) consultant and inclusive marketing specialist. Living with cerebral palsy and learning disabilities, she’s consulted and collaborated with Forbes-listed and Fortune 500 companies across diverse sectors such as Fintech, Sustainability, Agriculture and Technology.

A strong advocate for neurodiversity, disability, and gender, she examines these issues through an intersectional lens. Focusing on data driven insights to drive organizational change, her core strengths in research, collaboration, and communication empower her to navigate complexities and devise inclusive strategies. Aashna, welcome to the podcast.

Aashna Parikh: Hi, thank you so much for calling me in this podcast. It’s really amazing. Thank you so much.

Carolyn Kiel: Yeah. Thank you for being on the show. So I’d love to learn more about your personal story and your experiences. So what was it like growing up with cerebral palsy and learning disabilities?

Aashna Parikh: Honestly, I’ll be very honest with you. My lived experience is very different than people probably living in India with disability. So it was my mother who noticed that I was walking on my toes and that’s how she was realizing that I’m not walking properly. And it’s, it’s not like a normal thing. So she decided to get me to a doctor and then we got the diagnosis that I’m diagnosed with cerebral palsy.

And then by the age of five, I got my operation done. And after that I had a lot of physical therapy done, to make sure that I’m able to walk and like, you know, uh, basically not walk on my toes. So that was that. And it was because of my mother’s diagnosis and observation that we actually caught it early. And so the percentage of it is really like low. It’s around 20% or more than that. And I’m, I’m a monoplegic, so it’s in just my left leg. I’m not quadriplegic. Because there are types of cerebral palsy, right? Like there are different types of it. So I’ve got monoplegia.

Carolyn Kiel: Yeah, so you mentioned that your mother was the one who noticed it through your developmental milestones, noticed that you were walking in a different way. Did she also identify or notice that there were differences in the way that you were learning, in terms of reading or things like that?

Aashna Parikh: Uh, yes. So once we started basically my school and she noticed that I’m, I’m fumbling with words. I’m not able to read and I’m doing spelling errors. She noticed that this is it. And then she’s also a teacher. So she basically sat down with me and decided to give me lessons that, Hey, let’s take it slow, and how about we learn from the scratch. So literally she sat with me every day to make sure that, you know, I’m able to read, learn very calm. And she did her own practices where, you know, let’s say it felt for me like a game. Like, how about we pronounce this word? So to, to make me ease into it, so that’s what she did. And it really made me feel more confident. And that, that’s how my journey is about with her.

Carolyn Kiel: So her experience as a teacher, she naturally changed her teaching style to help you learn in different ways that really worked for you.

Aashna Parikh: Yes, definitely. So that was really, I’m really grateful for my mother specifically, in terms of that, that she had that patience in her to sit with me. Because, uh, what happens as a child, you have a tendency that if you’re not doing well, your parent must be angry with you. Or just be like, “Oh, you will do it on your own. I should not do, I like, why will I sit with you?” You know? But I’m grateful to have a mother who’s, who’s basically understanding in terms of, Oh, she needed help. And the good, the good part was that she observed everything very clearly. She knew that I was a disabled child, but with that, she knew that there were a lot of consequences of that as well.

So she made sure that I’m learning perfectly. I’m, I’m making my progress. Little day by day, she made sure that I’m making progress.

Carolyn Kiel: That’s great. So what was it like for you in school? So you have the support at home from your mother who just naturally came in and supported you with your learning. But what was school like? Because I’m assuming that maybe it took more time in school to identify what was really going on.

Aashna Parikh: So my mom knew from the beginning that I might have dyslexia and dyscalculia and like dysgraphia, but at school when I started, uh, since I had a lot of support from her in terms of, I, I used to spend a lot of hours, extra hours to make sure that I’m reading, writing properly.

So it would show at my, in my school exams and everything. And then in my eighth grade, my mother decided to have a formal diagnosis, which would help me to, uh, learn. Because I used to fail at specifically mathematics. And it was really terrible for me because, uh, you know, I used to fail on the exam and everyone used to tease about me. There was a lot of bullying around in the school because of it.

And the other thing was I used to also wear the different kind of shoes because of my cerebral palsy. So there was a lot of eyes on me all the time. I could always see people staring at me, um, or, you know, uh, making me feel really uncomfortable. But I did find a lot of friends and like a lot of comfort in terms of, uh, teachers, they were there for me.

There were both sides, I would say. One side was, which was not nice. People used to stare at me and make fun of me. But the other side was that I had some people, and I also found the one way which, which really made me comfortable in school was music. I decided to join school choir and which was really amazing for me. I loved spending time in that. So it kind of distracted me from all the negative part where people were bullying me and not, um, making me feel really bad about myself. So I did went through a lot of, um, anxiety, I would say. I was very conscious about myself, about the way I talk in school or the way I move, you know? So, yeah.

Carolyn Kiel: It sounds like it was an eighth grade when you got your formal diagnosis. That’s when you officially found out that you are neurodivergent, even though your mother knew from when you were much younger. Did your life change in any significant way after getting your diagnosis?

Aashna Parikh: Um, yes, because since I got the diagnosis, it was like a missing puzzle piece for me. But you know that, oh, that’s why I’m so bad at math. I used to always cry, and especially during the exam, I used to sweat a lot, my hands were sweaty, my feet were cold, so I kind of got a little self confidence, okay, this is it, and maybe I can manage things around it. Or maybe this is not, this math is not cup of my tea because of, you know, dyscalculia, and it’s okay. I was performing amazing in other subjects like languages, um, geography, history, I was doing great. But it was just math which was really bugging me. And I was like, I don’t know how do I figure this out and what will happen? It was really a relief for me, when it comes to getting diagnosed when I was a child.

What I really know is that I am this confident and this empowered just because of my family and the correct friends I have who were always there for me in school, right? So, um, I know this is not the story of every person who is neurodivergent and disabled. So I know that this is my privilege that my family caught it early and I had an early support system when it comes to managing a lot of, um, I would not say difficulties but like complexes of having not a neurotypical brain.

I used to always stress about this, that, you know, even if it’s a math exam used to always, um, be worried that how will I do in the paper? Will I be able to write or not? So after dyscalculia, I was able to, after diagnosis for dyslexia, dysgraphia and more accommodations. Such accommodations really were helpful for me, but it was kind of, uh, isolating also, I would not lie. Because in school, what used to happen was they used to make us sit in a different room. So how do I tell this to my friends that, Oh, I’m not going to sit with you during the exam. So I used to make some excuses that I’m not well today, or, you know, uh, just to like hide it. Because I was, I was still a child and I was still uncomfortable. It was kind of uncomfortable in school to sit in a different class just to get extra reading time or writing time. It was great on the part of education system, but I don’t like this where the person is completely isolated from the whole bunch of class, which actually brings a lot of eyes on you rather than, you know, rather than you being confident about it. So, yeah, that’s what happened with me.

Carolyn Kiel: Yeah. It sounds like the accommodations that you got in school were helpful, but at the same time, it’s that there’s always that, I don’t want to say stigma or people just looking at it, like, why, you know, why, why is she going to another room? Or why is this different? Why is she in a different situation than I am? Or, or having that self awareness about it too.

Do you feel that you faced more stigma because of your physical disability or your learning disabilities or was there a difference that you felt?

Aashna Parikh: So honestly, I did face a lot of stigma, not just because of my physical disability, but also learning disability. And I am, I’m still able to walk, run, etc, do everything which I can possibly because of my like continuous physical therapy and the low percentage of my disability. So there’s this always invisible, Uh, I feel always invisible because you know, I don’t fit in the criteria when you say a person is disabled, you know? You always, when you say disabled, you say, you always believe that the person has to be in the wheelchair or you’re not able to walk. This is what usually the representation of disability is, right? When it comes to, especially in media, that the person might be, is disabled if they need support, or if they’re not able to walk properly.

So I felt invisible even after joining a disabled community. I still feel invisible because my struggles are quite different as compared to them. Because I kind of try to fit in normal, like, I don’t know where I stand, you know?

People usually do invalidate my feelings. Like for example, you know, that day I went to a washroom, like, and there was a washroom for people with disabilities. And the lady just asked me very like carelessly, and you know, “you don’t look disabled! Why are you using that washroom?” You know? So I was like, I don’t know how to answer that because I might not look disabled, but there might be a chance that I am disabled. How do I like, you know, say allowed?

And I’ve, I’ve come to terms of my disability after a long, long, very long battle with myself. I won’t lie there, especially because there’s a lot of, uh, a battle between my self esteem and the way I look to other people and the way people perceive me. It’s, it’s quite different. So, um, there’s a lot of, I would say battles between two identities where I want to do normal things. Like, you know, for example, wearing heels for that matter, you know? Looking very pretty when it comes to wearing five inch heels and like rocking it and not, not having a fall. And that really like bothers me. It must look petty to people, it must look shallow, but for you, when you don’t have it, you realize oh, this is what I’m missing.

So yeah, I do feel invisible when it comes to, uh, I’m still not very accustomed to the part where I call myself disabled. Like I’ve recently come to my terms and say that, yeah, I am disabled. So what? I’ve decided to question people now, because now as a 23 year old, it’s really important that I take stand for myself where people don’t. I actually don’t give a damn what people, sorry for my language, what they think about me. And I say just, you know what? Just mind your own business, how about you do that. Instead of, or asking me, just, just ask a person. Just like you ask a person what are your pronouns, you can ask a person that, hey, you know, do you have a disability? Or, or put it in a nicer way. There’s a nicer way to ask questions.

Carolyn Kiel: Absolutely. And that’s a challenge, definitely here in the United States as well, in terms of people making assumptions about what a disabled person is supposed to look like or act like. You know, even people who are wheelchair users full time get challenged as well. And, you know, certainly if you use a different mobility aid, or if you don’t use it all the time, or if you don’t quote unquote, “look disabled,” I guess some people will come up and like, almost like demand your medical history or demand you tell them about some, maybe it’s a traumatic experience in your life. You don’t know! Everyone’s different. So yeah, that’s, that’s a problem.

Aashna Parikh: And especially like in India, there’s a lot of stigma around people with disabilities. People don’t accept their children. They, they basically, you know, disown them. They do that when it comes to especially physical disability, when they know. From my childhood, what I could remember was whenever I used to visit the clinic, I used to see, you know, uh, parents being very rude to their children, being not nice to their children, despite of doing exercises or, you know, doing the best which they can. And I was so fortunate enough to have a family who’s always encouraging. That, you know, “you can do your best.” It’s it’s a part of you. It’s not your full identity. You can make your identity even if you are an individual with disability.

Carolyn Kiel: Yeah. As you said, it’s, it’s not your full identity, although it’s an important part of your identity. And it doesn’t necessarily definitively determine what your future is going to look like. As individuals, we all have different strengths and different access to different things. So yeah, absolutely.

So now you continue your passion in, in the type of work that you do, with helping people, um, at companies implement diversity, equity, and inclusion.

So yeah, I’d love to learn more about the type of work you do in DEI.

Aashna Parikh: So, currently where I’m working is also a U. S. based firm, it’s called BackPac, where I basically work as a diversity inclusion consultant. And my speciality is disability advocacy. So what I do is to make workplaces, especially in U.S. more inclusive when it comes to people with disabilities. And I try to make sure that they understand what is, for example, neurodivergence or neurodiversity? What’s, what’s it all about?

And, um, my work also revolves around advising firms what policies should they basically implement when it comes to people with disabilities. How do they make feel people with disabilities included in the firm? So it could be as simple as, how do you put your resume or how do you basically, you know, invite people with disabilities when it comes to, uh, that you have a hiring? How do you be disabled inclusive, even when it comes to your job description?

Carolyn Kiel: Yeah.

Aashna Parikh: Not mention fast pace, for example. That’s very, very, neurotypical when you say you, you need a person who’s working in the fast pace working space. So it’s, it’s very ableist, I kind of feel.

And I also work around ERGs, trainings for making people understand what not just disability, neurodiversity, around gender. Some basics to learn what DEI is all about. How do you make people feel inclusive and belong? Because in companies, what usually happens is their workspace is not, they just care about what work they do. They don’t care about how the employee feels. So what I want companies is to make sure that they’re a little empathetic towards people who are working for them and also make sure that they are not disrespecting or discriminating people against because of just because of their religion, race and disability.

Carolyn Kiel: Yeah, it’s about, you know, having employees feel like they can come to work and bring their best and also making it possible for them. So through accommodations or other adjustments in the workplace, many of which are very small. You know, you want your employees to bring their best to work and do their best work for you. So it just makes sense.

You also, we said in your bio that you examine a lot of DEI issues through an intersectional lens. And you mentioned some just now, like religion and disability and neurodiversity. How do you help with those conversations as well? Because I think a lot of people don’t think about that.

Aashna Parikh: So, intersection should be the new, I think, trend. Because what happens is that, let’s say, you are an individual who also identifies as a lesbian and is also a disabled individual. So, there is mixture of two identities together, and the way you face oppression in the society is quite different.

And through my education, so I’ve done my bachelor’s in sociology and that’s how I came to know the word about intersection. And that’s why I realized that this is the way forward. Because we don’t know the other person who can have multiple identities. Like for example, let’s say it could be as simple as a woman being working woman and also a wife, you know? She has to manage both. So, there has to be an intersection lens coming, coming across and saying that, oh, how do we manage this both? How do we make sure that this particular female is, is able to feel comfortable in workspace and at home? So this is what intersection is all about, where you basically understand and see that there’s not just one identity. It could be multiple identities coming together and intersecting together.

Carolyn Kiel: Yeah, it’s, it’s something to keep in mind. And, and that those needs may change in employees life over time. So, you know, if someone has children, if they have very young children versus when their children are teenagers and grown, that’s very different experiences and needs.

I know we talked about some accommodations that you had gotten in school after your diagnosis. Have you needed to ask for disability accommodations at work and what was that experience of asking like for you?

Aashna Parikh: So for my disability accommodation was always about getting more leaves. Uh, basically telling them that I might need a leave, emergency leave, because I might have a fall or I might, I might get sick. Um, but in terms of my learning disabilities, I would always ask my colleague to, for example, send me or write down meeting notes to help me understand what exactly is, or to just know the agenda of the meeting before the meeting happens. It made me very confident because I knew what is going to be covered in the meeting. So that’s what I asked for in my company.

But I was fortunate enough to have a company which was a very broad minded and open minded in terms of asking me this question during my interview. We had a trip, basically a retreat, where my company made sure that before booking anything, they were asking me, do you need any travel accommodations or anything? To make sure that I am comfortable, right? So I was fortunate enough to have this company.

And also it’s, it’s, it’s also because it’s a US based company. That is also one, one of the reason why this question was asked. Because usually what happens in Indian workspaces, they don’t ask you this question. They don’t even ask you that, do you have a disability, you know? And even if I basically disclose it, they’d be like, “Oh, next. I don’t think we can, you know, hire you because of your disability.” So there’s a discrimination specifically in jobs, especially in Indian workspaces, which really needs to be changed. But I was just asked about my accommodation and I upfrontly said about that, this is what I want. And they were, they were happily given to me.

Carolyn Kiel: Yeah, that’s great. And that’s a question that can help, you should, you know, companies should ask any employees that. So whether or not they know that they have a disability, it’s, it’s something that’s really helpful for, for everyone. So it’s not, you know, you don’t have to know someone’s identity or status before you ask that.

Aashna Parikh: Definitely.

Carolyn Kiel: Yeah.

Aashna Parikh: Definitely.

Carolyn Kiel: So you, you’ve had a unique experience because you, you live in India, so you’ve had experience with Indian companies, but you also have experience working with a U. S. based company. So you kind of get to see how DEI is maybe a little different in, in different, um, countries, and you touched on some of those differences as well. In the work that you’ve done either in consulting or other companies, have you seen how DEI is addressed in other countries besides India and the U. S.?

Aashna Parikh: So I would say UK is also very open to DEI. So what, what my normal basic observation is that when it comes to Western countries abroad, they’re very open with DEI. But recently I got laid off. So, um, you know, DEI is also not priority for people in US, especially in companies, not in U.S., but I would say in companies, especially disability is not their priority. Because whenever I used to come in and say that, Oh, this needs to be changed, then there was a chance that clients were not okay with it, like, you know, addressing it. They were like, Oh, let’s do this later. Or, you know, how about we look this, we look into this after some time. They were not very, uh, open to it, but there were some clients who were like, let’s deep dive into it. We would really love to learn more about this. So it actually really depends from company’s culture and goal and mission. What exactly are they looking forward to and what are their goals?

So, but overall, I would say in India, it’s not a great place to work at, especially when you’re an individual with a disability because you do face a lot of discrimination and there, there, there are chances where, you know, you feel excluded. It depends from a company to company, but the experiences are quite similar because people are still not comfortable about having a conversation around disability or gender for that matter.

Carolyn Kiel: So it sounds like, as you said, it depends on the company and the culture and their individual goals. Like are, are they really committed to DEI or is it just something that they’re sort of temporarily committed to? Or, you know, how serious are they about making recommendations and changing parts of their business?

Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

What advice would you have for people with learning disabilities or even physical disabilities who may feel nervous about asking for accommodations at work?

Aashna Parikh: So I would say the first thing is being confident about your own identity. Accept that, you know, you have a disability and you might need help. The self awareness that okay, you have a disability and how do we manage it? Because truly I feel that disability is fluid. It can happen anytime to anyone. It can happen to an individual, even after an accident for that matter, or you can even be born with it. It can happen to anyone at any given point of time.

So. The first thing is being self aware about your, um, weaknesses to say, and also your strengths. So what I used to do is before every interview, I used to basically write down my strengths and weaknesses, that this is what I’m good at, and this is what I might need help with. So, and then when they ask about accommodations, I would say that these are my accommodations, being very confident in your voice and say that if you’re able to offer it, I would love to work with you.

You know, the thing is when you’re working at a company, you’re spending at least six, seven hours a day there. So it has to be a comfortable space for you, a safe space for you. And what usually happens is that if you realize that the company’s not safe or you know, you’re not able to disclose even your disability, before giving any, any interview, I would recommend everyone, every basically individual to learn about that company, right? Research about that company more. Now we have a lot of job portals as well, right? So you can go on those and ask people who are already working there that what’s the culture like to have some, some knowledge about the company beforehand itself. And then you can disclose your disability and then ask for accommodation.

So the step one, I would say is self awareness. Second is doing your research around what companies are you applying to. Third would be writing down things. Even if you feel very uncomfortable in an interview, you can ask them, like, can I have a moment? And just remove that paper and just, you know, say that these are the accommodations I want. If you feel uncomfortable, you can always look through that paper and then, you know, speak to them. So, yeah, that’s what basically I do when it comes to interviewing people and like interviewing, giving interviews for companies. And make sure that you know where you need help, know your strengths and make sure that you give your best.

And, and I know that there’s a lot of noise, there might be noise around in the office when you start asking if you get an accommodation, that there is a chance that that happens too. But just just just make sure that you are that I would say not strong, but I would say, uh, being very confident about it. That, you know, this is who I am. Being very confident about your identity.

Carolyn Kiel: Yeah. That’s really good advice and a really good way to look at it throughout the entire process of being employed somewhere, from when you’re initially job searching, going through the interview process, and then when you’re starting and just doing that research. As you said, there’s so many more resources out there with, you know, social media and LinkedIn. You can talk to people who work at the company and just try to get an understanding of what, you know, what’s the culture really like? How do people really treat each other? How open is the company to people’s differences and making accommodations so that people can do their best work at work? Yeah, absolutely.

Aashna, it’s been great talking with you today and thank you so much for sharing your experience. How can people get in touch with you if they want to learn more about the work that you do?

Aashna Parikh: So they can go on my LinkedIn and also reach out to me through my email, which will be in the description.

Carolyn Kiel: Great. Yep. I’ll put your LinkedIn and uh, your email in the description as well.

As we close out, is there anything else that you’d like our listeners to know or anything they can help or support you with?

Aashna Parikh: So I’ll be very honest that since I’m on the lookout for new opportunities, I would really love companies to become more disabled inclusive. Not just disabled inclusive, but also really thoroughly work on their DEI goals. So I would love people to connect with me or connect with more people who, who know brands who would love to be DEI friendly in this world. So yeah, that’s how you can help me.

Carolyn Kiel: Perfect. Yeah. And you have international experience with global companies. So, um, that’s great.

Thank you so much. Aashna. It was great talking with you. Thank you for sharing your story and your experience on my show today.

Aashna Parikh: Thank you so much. Thank you.

Carolyn Kiel: Thanks for listening to Beyond 6 Seconds. Please help me spread the word about this podcast. Share it with a friend, give it a shout out on your social media, or write a review on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcast player. You can find all of my episodes and sign up for my free newsletter at Beyond6seconds.net. Until next time.