Episode 117: Helping children cope in 2020 through books and storytelling – with Jenny Delacruz

How can we help children make sense of the challenges of 2020, in a way that still protects and nurtures their mental health?

This is an issue that Jenny Delacruz, my guest on this week’s episode of Beyond 6 Seconds, has been helping people with this year. Jenny is a Haitian-American writer, a licensed counselor and the founder of Cobbs Creek Publishing. Her children’s books help parents, guardians and teachers nurture mental health in kids from grades K-12. Born and raised in New York, she has always been aware of the importance of diversity and how each person has a story that weaves back to generations.

Jenny’s passion for teaching her own children about world history and current events led her to pursue writing and launch her own educational children’s book series. She has written 2 picture books, “Fridays With Ms. Mélange: Haiti” and “Momma, Can I Sleep with You Tonight?” which helps children cope with the impact of COVID-19. She recently released her first nonfiction book for adults called “How Was Your Summer? Fostering Critical Conversations with Students.” It’s a guide for parents and teachers to nurture mental health in kids from grades K-12.

During this episode, you will hear Jenny talk about:

● How her own children inspired the topics of her books
● Her advice on how to talk to kids about tough topics in an age-appropriate way
● How she uses social media to increase her books’ reach and accessibility
● Her future plans for writing and publishing

You can find out more about Cobbs Creek Publishing at www.cobbscreekpublishing.com, on Instagram, on YouTube, and on Facebook.

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The episode transcript is below.

Carolyn: Today, on Beyond 6 Seconds.

Jenny: Telling the truth doesn’t rob a child of their innocence, but it allows them to see that the world is a safe place because there are adults who are going to be honest with them and that actually protects their innocence more than anything.

Carolyn: Welcome to Beyond 6 Seconds, the podcast that goes beyond the 6-second first impression to share the extraordinary stories and achievements of everyday people. I’m your host, Carolyn Kiel.

Carolyn: If you enjoy listening to the Beyond 6 Seconds podcast, you might also enjoy watching it on YouTube. I’ve posted the videos of my most recent interviews, including this one, on the Beyond 6 Seconds YouTube channel. Just go to YouTube and search for Beyond 6 Seconds. Also, while you’re there, please click the red Subscribe button under the video and then click the little bell icon so you never miss a video. Thank you so much, and now, here’s my interview with Jenny.

Carolyn: I’m really thrilled to have as my guest today, Jenny Delacruz. Jenny is a Haitian-American writer, a licensed counselor, and the founder of Cobbs Creek Publishing. She is a wife and mom of two boys, born and raised in New York. She has always been aware of the importance of diversity and how each person has a story that weaves back to generations. Jenny’s passion for teaching her children about world history and current events led her to pursue writing and launch her own educational children’s book series. She has written two picture books, Fridays with Ms. Mélange: Haiti and Momma, Can I Sleep with You Tonight? which helps children cope with the impact of COVID-19. She’s recently released her first non-fiction book for adults called How Was Your Summer? Fostering Critical Conversations with Students. It’s a guide for parents and teachers to nurture mental health in kids from grades K through 12. Jenny, welcome to the podcast.

Jenny: Thank you, Carolyn, for having me. It’s a pleasure to be here.

Carolyn: So happy to have you here today and learn more about your story. So, how did you get the inspiration to start your own publishing company?

Jenny: Well, you know, to be honest with you, I never dreamed that I would start a publishing company. As a mom of two boys and as a counselor, I was always aware of the impact that books have on children. Not only in teaching them critical skills and life lessons but a place for them to enjoy and imagine and so, you know, I always wanted my sons to enjoy the love of reading and so my first interest was just really exposing them to as many books as possible and then, from there, I really wanted them to really love diversity. My family is multicultural. My folks are from Haiti and my husband’s family is from the Philippines and so that was a huge thing for us, and then, eventually, my son wanted to learn more about the history of Haiti, my oldest son who is 6, believe it or not, and I couldn’t find a children’s book that talked about the history. I found some great books about the culture, the music, but not the history for that age group, and so my husband said, “Then, why don’t you just write it?” and I was just like, you’re kidding me? And I really, to be honest with you, just said, you know, I’ll just do it for the house. You know, kinda like your house T-shirt, nobody will see it? But I started putting so much work into it that I said, you know what, this is something that everyone should be able to see, everyone should be able to read and enjoy, and one key element of all my books is that all the books have questions to promote critical thinking skills and emotional intelligence and it’s unlike what you will see out there as far as children’s books and so I really wanted to have the freedom to create books the way I wanted to, you know, as a mom and counselor and that is how Cobbs Creek Publishing came to be.

Carolyn: Wow. So, when you started writing your first book, Fridays with Ms. Mélange: Haiti, did you draw on your own experiences for that book or did you have to do a lot of research? How did you bring that together?

Jenny: Yes, that’s a great question. I definitely did a little bit of both. I definitely drew on my own experience and the illustrations in the book, it just highlights, you know, the urban life. I grew up in New York, you know, my kids were born in Philadelphia and so you can see the bodega, the corner store that is very common in these cities and throughout the book and throughout the illustrations, you’ll see the diversity of all the students and I really wanted to highlight different characters. As you can see, one character is in a wheelchair here and you can see the diversity. The main character, she has vitiligo because, you know, these are the children that may not be represented in a book.

Carolyn: Did you have to work with an illustrator or how did you incorporate that vision in?

Jenny: Absolutely. I cannot take credit for these illustrations. Our illustrator is Danko Herrera and actually he’s the illustrator of the three books that I have including the adult book, he designed the cover and I love how, with technology, you can collaborate with someone from anywhere across the globe. I mean, he lives on the other side of the world and, you know, we collaborate through e-mail.

Carolyn: You know, you mentioned that you really created your first book for your son who was interested in learning more about Haiti and the history and the culture and then Cobbs Creek Publishing came shortly after that to help support more types of books like this. Obviously, you published the book and it went out into the world, but what was the response or the impact that you’ve seen of the first book for other children or teachers or parents who’ve gotten it?

Jenny: Well, you know, the response was definitely encouraging. I had many parents come up to me and say, “Wow, I learned tons from this book that I never knew.” For example, Haiti’s constitution was written in 1804 when, you know, the enslavement of Africans was still occurring throughout different countries and Haiti’s constitution was the first to recognize that all men are created equal and, in fact, it was very revolutionary where they had the audacity to say that if any enslaved African traveled to the shores of Haiti, they will be free and so that was very revolutionary for that time period and so a lot of parents are like, “Wow, I never knew that,” and so that has been really the response. And a lot of parents I find are just so encouraged that I do talk about tough topics but in an age-appropriate way because I do believe that, many times, you know, as parents and as caregivers, we do struggle with how much to share with a child but I always say if a child asks, that means they’re ready for the answer, they’ve been thinking about it for a while, it didn’t come out of nowhere and so I always say that telling the truth doesn’t rob a child of their innocence but it allows them to see that the world is a safe place because there are adults who are going to be honest with them and that actually protects their innocence more than anything.

Carolyn: Yeah, I think it’s importance to give those age-appropriate responses as kids grow in their curiosity and sometimes it’s hard to know what to say at what point but it’s important to share that information and those experiences, absolutely. I mentioned in your bio that your background is you are a licensed counselor and you’ve done your education in African and African-American studies, so I can kind of see how some of those topics might be coming together in the types of books that you write. Did you draw on a lot of that experience and did that go into the book, the first book you wrote?

Jenny: Absolutely. I did draw it from some of my studies and I also draw it from my counseling experience because I wanted to teach students just the importance of knowing who you are, where you’re from, and how that actually impacts your self-identity, how that grounds you and the main character of the story, she goes through that awareness towards the end of the book. I don’t wanna give too much away but it’s really exciting to see how all the characters come in together and how she learns an important lesson and Ms. Mélange, she’s like, you know, the cool teacher who every Friday, she kind of uses example or experiment to teach history and here she used the analogy of grapes and so, you know, if you can compare this to any book, it’s kind of like the urban version of the Magic School Bus but the focus is on history and I’ve really hoped to highlight different countries so this is gonna be a series.

Carolyn: Wow, fantastic. And when did you write this book?

Jenny: This book was written in December of 2019.

Carolyn: Wow, so this is all really recent! You’ve already written three books in the space of less than a year, that’s wonderful!

Jenny: Yes, yes. And, you know, I think just having the time, you know, it’s almost like, you know, when life throw you lemons, make lemonade, right? With this whole — the impact of COVID-19, you have so many adults who are going back to school, who are starting businesses because it’s like, “What am I gonna do with all this time?”

Carolyn: Absolutely. Speaking of COVID-19, that was a major theme in your second book, the one called Momma, Can I Sleep with You Tonight? Helping children cope with the impact of COVID-19. I know your 6-year-old helped inspire your first book, was it inspired by your children as well, this one?

Jenny: Yes, this one was inspired by my youngest, my 4-year-old, who is a night processor, by the way. If he’s having a hard time, he will let you know in the middle of the night and so I cannot forget on April 5th, at 3 AM in the morning, he woke me up to share his big feelings and fears surrounding, you know, social distancing and, of course, you know, I listened to him, I validated it to the best I could, right? It’s the middle of the night, and he falls right back to sleep and I did what I always tell my clients not to do. I picked up my phone. Don’t pick up your phone when you’re trying to go to sleep! But I picked up my phone and I started typing. You know, I like to use Google Docs to type my books and I was just flooded, Carolyn, with ideas, things that I have observed not only in my children going through the stages of grief and loss but in other children in our community, in working with my clients, the children and family that I see in my private practice, it started to come together. It was like, you know, I had to catch it. You know, the ideas were coming and I kid you not, by 6 AM, my husband woke up, I said, “Honey, I got to tell you. I gotta read this draft to you. It’s a children’s book I wrote last night.” He was just like, “What? I’m trying to get ready for work.” And I shared the draft with him, right, and he just froze and he said, you know what, I kid you not, he said, I remember going to work one day this week and he said, “All those feelings, all those stages that you described hit me all at once like a ton of bricks,” and he was like, “You have to write this.” He said, “Because this is not just for children, this is for adults too,” and I was just like wow, you know?

Carolyn: Yeah. I would imagine that everybody is having a hard time at this time. No matter what their circumstances are or who they are or where they are but I think, you know, children especially because the human physical contact being face to face with your friends and your relatives and just people is just so critical for kids and I can only imagine how hard it is to try to process this strange circumstance that we’re in.

Jenny: It’s definitely hard and this book, it starts off with a story of a mom trying to comfort her son and as she is doing it, she’s going through the stages of grief and she is here comforting her son and, you know, he’s talking about how he misses nana. It gets right to you but at the end of the book, I do provide like free resources and tips for parents that they can utilize so that they feel equipped to deal with this because, you know what, even though we’re still social distancing, it still takes a village to raise children. We all have to pull together.

Carolyn: Absolutely, and I’ve heard that the whole experience that we’re all going through is very similar to the stages of grief because, you know, whether we’re grieving a way of life that we don’t have right now or if you’re literally grieving, you know, people that you can’t see or have lost, it’s a powerful structure to think of it and so I could see how that helps. So, you’ve got your second book out and, you know, I can imagine that that’s gotta be incredibly helpful for children cause I can’t — you know, I’ve read a lot of articles and things that are written for adults about how to process this and how it’s impacting and articles and things written from adult’s point of view about how children are processing but I haven’t heard of a lot of children’s books that are for children or for adults to help their children directly so I imagine it must have been a really impactful and helpful thing for kids.

Jenny: Yeah. I have gotten some really great feedback. Parents who shared like how this really helped their children to verbalize how they’re feeling and it’s allowed them to connect in a deeper way and I also have heard from parents who said it’s really helped them to provide them with tools because sometimes, you know, as parents, you’re juggling so much, virtual learning and you’re working from home and, you know, it’s just like I don’t know what else to do, I’m just trying to survive and, you know, I provide tools that anyone can do. For example, you know, as your children are playing, just get on the floor with them for 5 minutes, on their level, and to really look at them and validate their feelings. Ask them how they’re feeling but validate their feelings by, you know, by being honest and saying, “You know what, mommy’s frustrated too, daddy’s frustrated and angry too,” because what that does is it allows them to see that, wait, you’re not just a superhero, like you actually feel these things and they develop a culture of trust and so that child knows, okay, I can constantly come to you, you know? It really shifts the environment. And I always tell families to utilize any sensory tools, whether it’s playing outdoors in the backyard or going to a park for a little bit, you know, using sand as a sensory tool, even a stress ball, you know, for the parents who are doing the virtual learning. You know, ’cause what it does is it really calms down our central nervous system and it helps us to stabilize ourselves so, you know, whether it’s exercise or even if the child is frustrated, tell them to go to their room and punch their pillows because, you know what, it might be a win-win. They take a nap and, you know, you get a break but it really helps them, you know, as opposed to shaming those feelings and saying, “Oh, no. You know, you shouldn’t feel that way.” I think we all have to embrace these hard feelings.

Carolyn: Absolutely, yeah. I keep reading that the pandemic and the social distancing is really taking a toll on I think everyone’s mental health like no matter who you are so, you know, I can see how just giving those tips and that guidance to help kids work through and feel their feelings and not feel ashamed or wrong about feeling certain things will be really helpful as we go through this. So, you had the two books come out at that point and you’ve got the publishing company. How do you get the word out about these books that you’ve just written?

Jenny: Well, you know, I have definitely tried to utilize, you know, social media of course, connecting to folks like you and trying to share the work that I’m doing and, you know, I’ve also just shared with family and friends as well, you know, the organic way, but that’s really the main way. You know, we do have a YouTube page where folks who might say, “Hey, I don’t have a job, I can’t access that book.” Well, they can go to Cobbs Creek Publishing on YouTube and hear me read it out loud for free and I also have a teacher, her name is Teacher Wiggins and she is doing American Sign Language interpretation as I read the book. So, we’re really trying to make this material accessible.

Carolyn: Wow, that’s amazing. Yeah, ’cause that is a challenge. The whole digital experience is not the same for everybody and I think it’s wonderful the different ways that you have to bring this to people.

Jenny: Thank you.

Carolyn: Yeah, and, you know, we are talking right now, it is September 2020, and this month, you released your third book which is actually not a picture book, it’s more a book for adults to help them have conversations with kids and the students in their lives and that one’s is called How Was Your Summer? Fostering Critical Conversations with Students. So, tell me a little bit about the inspiration behind that one?

Jenny: Yeah, you know, I noticed that on our Cobbs Creek Publishing Instagram page, a lot of our followers are educators and parents and I noticed that throughout the summer, one huge worry, one huge constant theme of conversation is what we’re gonna do once school starts and how are we going to help children unpack everything that have occurred since March, right, of 2020 while trying to teach them to kind of get into swing of things with virtual learning and so, you know, as a counselor who, previously earlier in my career, I worked in elementary and middle school, I really wanted to provide support to these parents and educators in a way that is simple. And so I did create I would call it like a guide and, as you can see, it’s really small, it’s about 60 pages really and so this is something that can be read in less than 2 hours, okay? And, right now, we’re kinda currently waiting for the audio book to come out for those who are on the go like myself, you know, you wanna listen to things and this will provide thirty 15-minute activities tailored for students K to 12 and I did that intentionally because I wanted it to be comprehensive so each activity is broken down in different ways that is suitable for that age category and so, for example, some of the things that are addressed in this book are ways to cope with stress. I talked about breathing techniques. I have a link here to a chair yoga video that is suitable for all ages, it’s 8 minutes, and so this is something that someone can do during their work break, a student, you know, whomever, and this is just also, this link is also connected to our YouTube page as well and so, like I said, accessible to all and I’m really excited because we talk about tough topics but in a way that is age appropriate. So we talk about racism, we talk about classism, and then we also try to encourage students to empower themselves. For one instance, there’s one activity where students create a vision board, not just for themselves, right, ’cause you can do a vision board like this is where I wanna be in 5 years, but this is a vision board of what they want the world to look like when they grow up because I think, you know, in the midst of this time period, it’s easy to lose hope and not really dream and I think it’s really important for us to do that even now.

Carolyn: Yeah, and try to counteract the scary and sometimes hopeless feeling or confusing images that we see all around us of everything going on by creating your own images so you can literally look at it and say this is what I want the world to be like when I grow up.

Jenny: Yeah, yeah.

Carolyn: So, the activities in the book, are they classified by age group or how does that work?

Jenny: Yes, and so the activities, they’re like classified by the subject and then when you go to the activity, they’re numbered, right, and so that’s when they’re broken down into the age group so I’ll give you an example. One of the activities is “I Am More,” it is called “I Am More” because in the midst of this shift, right, with social distancing, many of us were stripped of our roles, you know, you have those who were playing on different teams, you know, parents who lost their jobs and it’s almost like, who am I now, right, and so this really touches on that and then within that activity, in a guide, it’ll say, you know, K to 2, grades K to 2, this is what they are gonna do, this group. And then from grades 3 to 6 and so forth and so that’s how it’s broken down. We talked about what it means to be an ally and I compare it to being a good Samaritan ’cause that’s something that most people can understand, that concept and so we talk about — we have craft time so there’s a lot of fun activities, how to create self-care, there’s a self-care day, and in each activity, in the bottom, there is a section that says, home school connection because we want the parents to get involved from the beginning because I believe that if parents and teachers are reinforcing these skills, then it’s really a home run.

Carolyn: Yeah, so all of these activities in this book, do those really come from your background as a counselor who works with children?

Jenny: Absolutely. I’ve gleaned a lot of these activities from there. Some of them, to be honest with you, I did some research and, of course, gave whomever credit in the back for their activities that I added here but, yeah, we talk about intuition, you know, the importance of being aware of your body and knowing when there is danger and how do you respond to that, trusting your signals and these are skills that children can take throughout their lives. We have a section called “Music” which is a fun section where students really get in tune with music and how therapeutic it can be, and, of course, they bring that activity to their homes and so this is a very comprehensive book that will get parents involved and that’s why I’m so excited about this material.

Carolyn: And again that goes back to getting the kids active and involved in different activities. So many of us are now just sitting in front of video conferences and Zoom calls in the computer all day long and a lot of it is the same for the kids who are now in virtual schools so getting them out, making crafts or out and moving around is important part of it too, I’d imagine.

Jenny: Absolutely, absolutely.

Carolyn: You have a background as a counselor, you have clients that you’re working with and you’ve been writing and researching on these topics. Are there any sort of prominent or common concerns that you’re seeing with children now who are trying to process this, either common fears or common struggles that you see that maybe we can be on the lookout for our kids at large and kinda help them with?

Jenny: Yeah, that’s a really great question. You know, I noticed that children, even though they’re very resilient, you know, there are many children out there that are still struggling with this as we are and so I think what I have noticed, especially with the online learning, like you said, you know, there’s not really that much space to move and even engage with their peers in a way that they enjoy and so I think it’s really important as a parent and caregivers for us to try to find creative ways for them to connect with their peers. You know, even if it’s like we’re going to have a Zoom party, okay? Even though it’s still that virtual but it’s not the same. You’re standing up, you’re dancing, you’re jamming and you see all your friends and they’re like, alright, now it’s my turn, this is my song and we’re together, everybody gets a turn and so I think that, you know, we can find creative ways to bring movement and I always tell people, if you can go outside, go outside. Of course, you wanna keep your distance but, you know, that sensory play and being outdoors is so healthy for all of us. Getting that vitamin D, you know, is so crucial.

Carolyn: Yeah, absolutely. It’s easy to sit in the house all day and, you know, while there are some people who really do need to keep that level of quarantine but I think a lot of us can safely be outside and social distance and just, as you said, just get that sunshine and fresh air.

Jenny: Yeah.

Carolyn: So, gosh, you’ve got three books already out in less than a year and they’re all very mission-driven and very much on topics that are so timely and really are geared towards helping people. What are your big or your long-term goals for, you know, either Cobbs Creek Publishing or for your own writing?

Jenny: Yeah, you know, one of my long-term goals is to create a team and we actually have started already. We do have a writer on board, Halimah Jones. I’m excited to share that she’s creating her own series of books. We have an editor on board. We also have a voice narrator and I didn’t intentionally, strategically said, “Okay, I want all my staff to be black women,” but it so happens that they’re all black women and I am kind of encouraged by that because to not only produce these books but to produce opportunities for others to make a sustainable income, I think it’s just rewarding for me, especially at such a hard time, but I would definitely love to diversify our staff because I believe we can learn so much from different groups of people, different ages, and different cultures.

Carolyn: Wow, yeah, that’s really fantastic and, yeah, it sounds like you will be creating even more books. I’m sure you’ll be writing more and it sounds like you got other authors now coming on board who will be writing them and that’s exciting ’cause I think these topics are really important to cover especially now.

Jenny: Thank you.

Carolyn: Wonderful. Jenny, thanks so much for talking with me on my podcast today. How can people get in touch with you if they wanna learn more about Cobbs Creek Publishing or your books?

Jenny: Sure. You can definitely check me out on Instagram, I’m @cobbscreekpublishing. I’m also on Facebook and you can check out our website, CobbsCreekPublishing.com. We’re also on YouTube, and so I will say go to our website and then you can see all of the social media links from there.

Carolyn: Okay, perfect, and I’ll put a link to your website in the show notes of the podcast so people can access it there too.

Jenny: Awesome. Carolyn, thank you so much for having me. It’s been such a pleasure to talk with you. It’s been really refreshing.

Carolyn: Thank you. Yeah, I absolutely enjoyed talking with you as well. Is there anything else you’d like our listeners to know or anything that they can help or support you with?

Jenny: Yeah, well, you can support me just by purchasing our books if you’re able to and writing in a positive review. I’m telling you, those reviews are gold. I found out, you know, with Amazon, there’s algorithms and all this. I learned, you know, you kinda learn the business side of things but I would appreciate that if people can support me in that way.

Carolyn: Right, absolutely, that sounds wonderful. Thanks again, Jenny, for being on the show. I really admire and I’m excited about the work that you’re doing for helping kids and helping the adults in the kids’ lives so that’s wonderful, thank you.

Jenny: Thank you for having me.

Carolyn: Thanks for listening to Beyond 6 Seconds. Please help us spread the word about this podcast. Share it with a friend, give us a shout-out on your social media, or write a review on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcast player. You can find all of our episodes on our website and sign up for our free newsletter at www.beyond6seconds.com. Until next time.