Episode 146: Thriving at work with ADHD and learning disabilities – with Alex Gilbert

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The episode transcript is below.

Carolyn Kiel: Hello everybody. Today I have a really great interview for you. It’s with my guest, Alex Gilbert. She is the owner of Cape-Able Consulting, which is a consulting service that she started to help people with learning disabilities and ADHD much like herself.

At the beginning of these podcasts, I always try to reflect a little bit on some of the things that we discussed during the show. One thing that came up a few times with Alex was this concept of superpowers, and “what are your superpowers?” And honestly, the word “superpowers” for me personally, you know, I have mixed feelings about it. I think it really depends on the context that you’re using it in. It can be a really positive and empowering type of word, or in the wrong context or coming from the wrong place, it can be maybe a little dismissive or patronizing. But I talked to Alex about it and I really liked the way that she describes superpowers and what that means for the people that she coaches. And I’ll let her explain that a little bit later on in the show.

And it had me thinking about it a little bit differently as well, and trying to think of, well, what are my own superpowers? And the funny thing is a lot of times your superpowers or your strengths or your areas of focus, whatever you may call them, a lot of times, these are things that people in your life value about you that you may take for granted because they come so easily to you and it may be even hard to realize what they are.

So for me, my superpowers would be, you know, I’m very good at seeing the details of a situation. I’m pretty good at putting structure around chaos a lot of times, because I need to do that for myself in order to function. But I’ve noticed that many other people also appreciate this special ability that I seem to have. I’m very empathetic and a good listener, which means that I am often someone that people confide in and that is something that’s very special to me. And I think it helps me as a podcast host as well, just really understand and listen to people’s stories. Just being able to create a comfortable environment for people to have those conversations. I’m also good at taking in a lot of information and curating it into something interesting, again, like the podcast. So, you know, I’m glad that Alex and I had this conversation and that the idea of superpowers came up because I think that it got me thinking differently about it.

So yeah. Maybe take a moment to think about what your super powers may be. And remember, they may be things that come easily to you. So maybe ask a friend, ask people at work or people who you interact with in your day-to-day life, what they consider you to be really, really good at. And you might be surprised at some of the things that come back, what people value and people get excited about. So yeah, give that a try and let me know, you know, send me a message on social media or through the website. Let me know if you tried that and what your superpowers are.

Okay, so soon let’s get to the conversation with Alex. Just a quick reminder, if you have not already subscribed to the podcast, please check it out. You can find me on any podcast app. Just search Beyond 6 Seconds or go to beyond6seconds.net. You can sign up for my newsletter. I’ll remind you about when episodes are coming out. You can find me on YouTube and check out the video versions of all these episodes. And if you already are subscribed, Thank you. I appreciate it so much. I’m really glad to have you as a return listener.

Okay. Here we go. Let’s get to our conversation with Alex. On today’s episode, I’m really excited to be speaking with Alex Gilbert. Alex is a New Yorker, a Mets fan, a yogi, and a brunch enthusiast. She also has dyslexia and ADHD. After spending her career working in leadership development, she started Cape-Able Consulting a consulting and coaching business that helps adults with learning disabilities and or ADHD who are struggling in their careers. Her biggest goal in creating Cape-Able Consulting is to change the stigma surrounding learning. Alex, welcome to the podcast.

Alex Gilbert: Thank you so much for having me. I’m very excited to be here.

Carolyn Kiel: I’m so excited to learn more about your story and the story behind why you started your own business and what inspires you to do the work that you do now.

So yeah. Tell me a little bit about what inspired you to start Cape-Able Consulting, maybe like a little bit about where the name comes from too.

Alex Gilbert: Yeah, I’d love to tell that. So I actually have had this dream since I was 16 years old. As I mentioned, I’m dyslexic and I have ADHD and I was really privileged to be diagnosed at a young age and have the means to move ourselves to a completely new school district so I could get all of the resources that I needed in order to stay on par with my peers. And I’m really grateful for my parents for that, but that’s really not the story for everybody.

But what it came down to was when I was 16, I had this idea of what I wanted for my life and how I was going to get there. And I was working with this SAT tutor and she said to me, yeah, I’m looking at your PSAT scores and let’s be real, you’re not going to a big college, you’re not doing this, you’re not doing that. You’re not much on paper. And she just kind of diminished everything about me.

And here I was president of three organizations in my school. I was on sports teams. I was in theater. I was in marching band. I mean, I literally did everything and was a leader in everything that I did. I kept thinking, do you really not see me for me? You’re not seeing me as a whole person. Do you not see any of the skills that I have? Why is it just on paper? And I kind of ran away from that and was so angry at that. I was like, I am never going to make anyone feel like they are less than because of a diagnosis of something that is inability, not necessarily just a disability.

And I’m not taking away any of the struggles that I’ve had or that other people have. I have certainly struggled with a lot of things, and she was right, I was going to struggle when I was in college. But I did go to Indiana University, a big, big university. And I made my, my name known while I was there. And I made things happen. Was every day great? No. But I created a peer undergraduate mentor program for students with disabilities so that they could alleviate all of the stress that they had of being a student with a disability on a large campus.

This was something I was always wanting to do. And now I’m kind of taking it to the next level and really helping people in their careers so that they don’t have to hear people tell them that they’re not good enough, that they’re not smart enough, that they’re unworthy or incapable of a lot of things that are just not true.

And the name really has three origins. One, because I’m dyslexic and spell everything wrong, I wanted to make sure that it was Cape-Able, something that you could see. Two, I wanted people to know that they were capable of so much more and that they didn’t have to feel incapable because of a disability or ADHD or executive functioning or whatever it is that they were struggling with. And three, I see it as a superpower. As I mentioned, not every day is pretty, not everyday is glamorous. It’s really, really difficult, but you could still see yourself in a powerful light and use the skills and your strengths to launch you forward.

Carolyn Kiel: Yeah, that’s, that’s really powerful. And I think that’s amazing that you used and drew on some of the challenges that you had in the way that you learned how to learn going up through school, to then help out your peers in college and build that network, and then now bring it into a business.

So I’m curious, how are your coaching and consulting services, how are they different, either different techniques or different services than what maybe other coaches might provide if they’re doing career coaching for someone?

Alex Gilbert: So I have been working in leadership and program development for over a decade and it really came down to what I call best principles versus best practices. And I do this kind of across the board, whether I’m coaching individual clients or doing group sessions, or I’m working with my consultant clients, which are more corporate and organizations that are looking to be more inclusive.

Best principals versus best practices means best practices is what you typically hear. Here’s the five best techniques that you’re going to feel your best if you have ADHD in the workplace. You could try all five things. None of them work for you. And you know what? They were written for a very large population. And if they don’t work for you, that’s okay. But the problem is when you see that and you try them and you fail over and over again, you think you’re the failure when really you weren’t set up for success.

So I like to think of this as best principles, meaning we have the same goals in mind, but how we’re going to get there is actually going to be based on you. What are your needs? What do you want to accomplish and how do you think and learn and how can we tailor this to be around you?

For corporate and organizational pieces, it’s the same thing. There is not a single company or organization that’s alike. They all provide different things. They all have different needs. We have to learn and work with what they have and what you have so that we can build on your strengths and go from there because that’s what makes it sustainable and attainable in the future.

Carolyn Kiel: That makes sense. So really a lot of times tailoring it to the person’s needs and working very closely with them to help them succeed.

Alex Gilbert: It’s a hundred percent that! Because, you know, as someone who’s constantly having, having to reinvent the wheel and learn because it was written for somebody else. It never worked. I was really struggling. And that also really affects your mental health, but you feel like you were constantly failing. And again, it’s just, you have to set yourself up for success and setting yourself up for success means setting yourself up with expectations that are realistic for you. And that could be different across the board too. So it is very individualized.

Carolyn Kiel: Yeah, and that makes sense. And I feel like a lot of times when we, I guess we all have different schooling experiences, depending on where we went, but I think a lot of times there’s sort of a certain set way that all the kids are expected to learn and you either learn that way and do all right. Or if you don’t, if those techniques don’t work for you, it can be a real struggle if the school’s not prepared for that. So yeah.

Alex Gilbert: Teachers have a very hard job of teaching 30 plus kids at the same time who have very different learning styles. I had some incredible teachers over the years and I had ones who were not so great, speaking of the one who told me I was pretty much going to amount to nothing. But you know, there are, there are some really amazing teachers out there who can see your strengths and really push you forward. I, I don’t want to say that all are bad there there’s some amazing ones out there too.

Carolyn Kiel: Oh yeah, absolutely. It’s amazing the impact that teachers have on our lives as we’re growing up. And I think we all can remember like a favorite teacher or two that we’ve had. And yeah, we definitely recognize the impact that they have on us.

Alex Gilbert: Mrs. Paley changed my life. And I even called her when I started my business, because I was like, you are the reason I know how to hold myself together. That was, everyone has that teacher.

Carolyn Kiel: Yeah. That’s wonderful. Wow. So yeah, I’m curious to learn a little bit more about, you know, speaking of school, what your experiences were like in school. So I read a little bit of your blog, so I know a couple of stories here and there that you’ve shared on your website.

Yeah. Just curious to know how you started out in school. Did you have to change and go to other schools?

Alex Gilbert: I definitely had some ups and downs. It was not pretty. And I think that that’s one of the things that I talked to, a lot of people who were diagnosed with ADHD or learning disability later in life, they thought you must’ve had it so much easier now that you knew all of your, your challenges, you could get the support that you needed. You should have been fine. And on paper, sure. I had extra time on tests, separate testing location, my tests were read to me. I didn’t have to fill out Scantrons. I mean, all of the things that really helped me stay on par on paper were necessary at the time.

But oof, I had some really, really, really rough years with some teachers who just, as I said, were not meant to teach in large rooms with a lot of different learning styles. This particular teacher I had in fourth grade is really where I talk about the fact that my anxiety started because I had just moved to this new town. I just gotten diagnosed with dyslexia and ADHD, and I was constantly being yelled at and pulled out of this class by a six foot two man when I was barely four feet tall, being told I was stupid and that I was lazy. And that I, it was my fault that I didn’t understand things. He would leave me notes. I actually found a collection of notes when I graduated, I kept them in my desk until I graduated college. I never even showed my parents this, which I don’t think would even happen now because they’d send an email. But I had all these collections of all the things that he said that I was failing at. And the truth was, I was terrified of him, because every time I raised my hand, he would laugh that it was a stupid question. Every time I asked for help, he would make me feel bad. And it just, it just internalized. Did no one see me for me? And for questions that I was asking, making it feel like I was stupid. And that can be taken with you for a very, very long time. And there were so many other teachers that I can mention who did something similar.

But the point of me saying that is: I always think of this book of when I was a kid and this book actually came up, I don’t know if you watch the show on Netflix, “Maid”?

Carolyn Kiel: Oh, I haven’t.

Alex Gilbert: Okay. It’s phenomenal. It’s very hard to watch, but it’s phenomenal. And she talks about this book with her daughter called We’re Going on a Bear Hunt. And the lines that read on every page is: You can’t get over it. You can’t go under it. You gotta go through it. And that’s how I’ve experienced a lot of the anxiety and trauma of dealing with having dyslexia and ADHD as a kid.

You know, I, I couldn’t get over it. I couldn’t go under it and dig it away. I had to go through it. I had to validate how I was feeling, acknowledge it, and then say, you know what? This wasn’t serving me then, it’s not serving me now. And it’s not coming with me moving forward. It’s gone. You know, thank you for making me who I am, but let’s move on. Let’s, let’s build from this in a stronger way.

And that’s how I’ve really tried to take it moving forward and really help people kind of discover what those moments were for them, because they can be very traumatic. But they’re also the reason why they’re overcompensating for a lot of the things that they’re doing. Why they have a fear of talking to their bosses about the kinds of things that they need, or why they fear asking questions in a big meeting, because they just don’t want to be seen or pulled out as something or someone that is incapable of their job when they’re really very capable, but it’s okay to have different needs.

Carolyn Kiel: Yeah. And it’s, it’s amazing how all, so many of us carry those early experiences, whether they’re in school or like our first jobs of just being put in these situations where we feel like we’re on the spot or we’re being called, like our intelligence is being called into question, or when we bring that anxiety forward into so much of our lives. And it takes a lot of times, it actually does take that coaching to come to terms with it and say like, listen, as you said, you know, I’m going to go through it. It’s taught me what it’s taught me and now it’s time to move on. Wow.

Alex Gilbert: That and a good therapist.

Carolyn Kiel: Yes. That as well. Absolutely. Yeah. So those were school experiences. And then, you know, in, in the meantime we mentioned that you had a a full career in in leadership development once you got out of school. So what was your experience like going from school into the working world, and what was that like as someone who’s dyslexic and with ADHD?

Alex Gilbert: Yeah, it was rough. That’s putting it mildly. I, you know, here’s someone who had all of these resources in school and in college and you think, okay, well, she’s got everything. She’s had all of these resources. She knows exactly what to do. I even taught people how to advocate for themselves in college in a large college setting and won a ton of awards for it. So I thought I knew everything I needed to do for me. It turns out I knew nothing, because every resource I ever had in school is apples and oranges. There is nothing that looks like extra time on a test or having things read to me in the workplace. So what do those tools and resources look like in the workplace? They’re very different. And I didn’t know what they were. I didn’t even know that I needed support as an adult because I’ve had in my head that I was okay.

But I had always talked about the fact that I was dyslexic and ADHD. I’ve always embraced that about myself because I feel like it’s made me who I am. And I have no shame in that. And I, I know that’s not for everyone and that’s okay. And it doesn’t need to be. And I don’t ask any of my clients to share if that’s not something that they want to share. But I thought I was talking to people on the other side of the desk who understood what it meant to have dyslexia and ADHD because all that time prior, they did. But they did not, because that’s not their field of expertise. And in a fast paced environment, that doesn’t cut it. So I needed to know what my needs were, how I was going to ask for it. And then also set myself up for success by having interviews and having jobs that actually could accommodate what my needs were and what my skills were.

So in my first job out of college, I had a very hard time with this boss who put me in a room with six other people, all of which were on the phones at different times. I was in an office that people came in and out of, it was the first desk you saw. Constantly being interrupted. I would stay after work for four or five hours sometimes because that was the only time. And this was before people took laptops home. I didn’t have an iPad. This was, it was a desktop at my office. That was it. And I couldn’t go into another room, whatever it was. So I asked for noise canceling headphones, which seemingly doesn’t sound like a big deal. But I was told no, because it would be seen as rude if anybody needed to work with me or talk to me.

And I was covered by the ADA. I could have absolutely gone back to him and said, it’s my right to ask for this and for you to provide it, or change the environment for me. But I never really did the job to the best of my ability because I didn’t set myself up for success, but I also didn’t have the right support in that office. And so it took me a while to figure out what those things were. And look, my mental health suffered tremendously from that because of that stress and anxiety that I was going to fail, or I would get fired.

60% of people who have a learning disability or ADHD in the workplace do get fired, because they’re taking on so much more than they should, because they don’t want to be seen again as incapable. They don’t want to tell people that they can’t do it. So they say yes to everything. That kind of mentality and then not asking for help and not asking for the right resources or advocating for themselves is putting them in a position to not only suffer with their mental health, but also not do their job well. And that’s where I’m hoping to help people kind of pull out the things that their strengths are, set the boundaries that are realistic and, and help them create the right environment for them to succeed.

Carolyn Kiel: Yeah. The knowing your strengths and putting up those boundaries are important because yeah, I mean, when, when you come into the workplace and you are neurodivergent or you have learning disabilities or ADHD or whatever it may be, in addition to just like actually learning and doing your job as an employee, there’s all these other things, as you were saying, in your head about like, just one is even knowing what supports you might need, knowing what your options are.

Two is actually being able to advocate for yourself. Three is you probably have to like educate a whole bunch of people about things who, as you said, it’s not their area of expertise. So, and know the law. It’s like, oh, it’s a lot.

Alex Gilbert: It’s a lot. And that’s why when I say super power, people get very upset because they think I’m just diminishing any of the feelings that they’re having. All of those things that are realistic. But I was just saying this to someone earlier today. If you think of a, of a superhero, every superhero has a weakness and those villains are out to get their weakness. But no one sees their weakness and a hole. They see them as someone who is incredibly capable. So that one little piece, that weakness, is not going to break them as a person. It’s not going to stop them. And it’s okay to have the weakness. You can have both at the same time. They’re all valid. All of those things are very, very real, but if you can put yourself in a better light and know that you also have strengths and you also have abilities, it’s okay to have both.

Carolyn Kiel: Yeah, thank you for that explanation on the super powers, because I was curious about that because that, that term gets used a lot. And I know you use that a lot with your clients, helping them see their superpowers, as well as acknowledging our own super powers. So that’s a fascinating way to think about it . You’re right, every superhero does have a weakness.

Alex Gilbert: Yeah. That’s what all those villains are after them for, but that’s not how you see them. And I don’t want people to see themselves as someone that’s less than because they’re not, they’re not.

Carolyn Kiel: Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. So, yeah, you worked, as we said, in leadership development for many years, and now you have your own consulting business. What was the impetus to actually move from sort of having the corporate nine to five standard job to creating your own business?

Alex Gilbert: You know, I was actually thinking about that recently, because one of my friends said to me that she wasn’t surprised that I was an entrepreneur. And I was like, well, I’m kind of not either, but why’d you say that? She goes, you come from a family of entrepreneurs. My dad has his own business. My mom’s an author. My brother runs his own business. My sister’s a photographer. You know, it’s all these things that are very creative. And so I’ve always kind of had that juice and that inkling and that leadership to want to do something on my own. But I was actually laid off from my job due to COVID and I’m actually very grateful that I was. I have a very good relationship with the organization that I was with, they were even one of my clients for several months after I was laid off.

But I just realized as I was working from home during the pandemic. It was this quiz that I took that really kinda set my wheels in motion. It was one of these Instagram quizzes that was like, asked you these tough questions. And the three questions that I got were very serious. Whereas most people got like, what’s your favorite meal? What’s your first car? I got, what’s your dream job? Who, who is your idol? And what’s your favorite characteristic about yourself? And I’m sitting there and I’m like, I can’t answer these questions, which tells me that I’m not doing the right thing for me anymore. I’m not working in the right field. And a week later I was laid off. And I said, okay, you know what? I think this was the sign that I needed that this corporate world was really not for me anymore. And it didn’t fit me. It didn’t fit my needs. It didn’t fit the structure of how I was thinking and learning and could be most productive.

You know, people always think that this nine to five is so cushy and that it’s safe and all of these things, but I was actually more stressed in those jobs than I am working for myself. Because I structure my day around how I think and how I learn and the ebbs and flow of my day. And I need a break, I take it .And I don’t have to answer to anybody else. Because this is, this is how I think.

But it’s also made me realize that I thought I crave structured. I would’ve told you without a doubt. I need to have this time to do this workout. And I need to have lunch at this time. And I need to do that. Not a single day looks the same for me. And I actually prefer that and I am so much more productive. So I really took the time to learn about myself and learn what my needs were and evolve a business around that so that I feel my best.

Carolyn Kiel: Oh, that’s fantastic. And so interesting that you learned that about yourself, that, you know, once you, once you had more control over your environment, that you actually didn’t need that super strict structure around things, that you could sort of shape it and give yourself the supports that you needed in order to be able to flourish as an entrepreneur.

Alex Gilbert: Yeah. And I think that’s one of the things that people always think is like, okay, you have to go to school and you have to go to college and you have to have these types of jobs. But if you actually take the time to get to know yourself, there’s so much more about you that you don’t know. And that’s what I really try and help my clients do. Because you kind of try and fit in these boxes, but if you don’t fit in the box, that doesn’t mean you’re not worthy. You’re actually so much more than that box. So break it, break it. It’s ok.

Carolyn Kiel: Yeah. Oh, fantastic. Yeah. There’s so many more options than the ones that we’re just given. Oh, fantastic. So, yeah, so you’ve been now coaching since around the pandemic time. So still relatively new business. But I’m curious to learn about the biggest challenge or maybe the most unexpected thing that you faced in either launching or running your own business.

Alex Gilbert: Oh, the biggest challenge. I would say, allowing myself to go with my instinct has been the biggest challenge. Because someone who has ADHD, it could be really challenging to be very decisive sometimes. And there’s a lot of choices and there’s a lot of steps and there’s a lot of processes. And sometimes getting started was the hardest part. You know, securing an LLC, finding the right coach for me to make sure that I knew what I was doing and that I had the right support team, finding a social media group that would help me brand the way that I wanted to.

There were so many decisions and I was the only one making them, and that was so hard, but I actually realized I am incredibly impulsive, probably because of my ADHD, but my impulses are usually pretty on, on par and it was okay to go with that. And, and that was really hard for me to trust myself sometimes to say like, do you actually know? And it’s like, you know what, you know what’s best for you and you know what’s best for your business. And that’s the part that matters. So it’s okay to be confident in that.

Carolyn Kiel: That’s great that you learned how to trust yourself, especially in a new situation where really, you know, a lot of times the quote unquote right answer isn’t obvious, or maybe there isn’t even one at all. You’re building something that’s brand new. So that’s really awesome.

Alex Gilbert: That and there are so many voices telling you how you should do things, and this is the right way to start. And the truth. Is just like everything else, I kind of did things my own way anyway. So listening to people say, this is how you have to start. It was like, well, is it? It might not be for me. And that doesn’t vibe with me and that’s not something I value and that’s not that important to me. So why would I go in this direction?

You have to stand firm and be confident in what you’re starting and why, and, and feel really good about it. And I do, and I, that’s something that I wanted for me, is to not run a business that made me miserable, like all the jobs that I was in, but really feel my best. And feeling my best meant going with my instinct and sometimes going with those impulses that this was the right move. We talked about this before. I never thought I would do podcasts ever. If you would ask me a year ago, if I would start this business, do podcasts, do all these things I would have said, no. But you know, opportunities I allowed to present itself because I was more open and more confident in what I was doing, and I’m, I’m grateful for the opportunities that have presented itself.

Carolyn Kiel: Yeah, that’s fantastic when you open yourself up to those opportunities. Things happen that we can’t even imagine or dream of, sometimes they’re even bigger than our dreams.

Alex Gilbert: I know! But that’s, that’s the best part about being an entrepreneur. And I always said, if I wasn’t evolving and changing and opening myself up and doing something that scared me almost every week, then I was doing something wrong. Because I could have this overall vision of what I wanted and how, but there’s going to be other pieces that come in that are going to be really important to this business and really important to me. And I didn’t even know it was there because I was tunnel visioning what I wanted. And as long as it fits within that theme, it feels authentic to me and feels authentic to the business. And I know that it will support people who have a learning disability or ADHD, I’m open.

Carolyn Kiel: Yeah. Fantastic. And yeah, you’re providing such great support to, to people who you know, who really need it. And I’m curious, what kind of feedback have you gotten from your clients? Like, do you have any sort of success, anonymous of course, but success stories that you’d want to share?

Alex Gilbert: Yeah. So I was working with someone who was starting a brand new job. And she was really nervous. You know, she’s starting a brand new job during a pandemic. She’d never physically gone to the office and she’d never physically met her boss or anyone in her department or her team. And the way the structure was of how they ran their meetings was so the complete opposite of how she ran her day. She’d have all of her meetings in the morning and then the afternoon, it was their free time to do their work, and then they’d have like a catch-up at the end of the day. And she’s like, I was exhausted by the three hours of meeting in the morning. By the time I got to the afternoon, I couldn’t do it.

I was like, okay. So we talked about all of those different things. What are you getting out of those? Do you find them helpful? Are they being recorded? Can you ask for them to be recorded? Can you have conversations about all of these different pieces? We came down and really zeroed in on what the issue was, and it came down to the fact that the meetings were too long, but most of the meetings that she was in were unnecessary for her to be in.

And so we talked, you know, we talked about how she was going to talk to her boss. And they cut down all of the meetings, not just for her, for everybody. Because they started talking and they’re like, does everyone else find these meetings really a problem? And they were all like, yeah, I have no time in the afternoon because I’m burnt out.

And so it changed the whole structure. And I thought that was just so cool that she felt like she was confident enough, even as this brand new role to say, this isn’t working and I’m willing to work within the system if this is how it works for everybody else. But by being okay bringing it up, it actually changed the structure and was better for everybody else.

And now they’ve all been more productive. So I saw that as such a win for her to feel like, okay, now they, they respect me for bringing something up from an outside perspective and say, does this really work for you? But also she’s more productive because she’s actually spacing out her meetings and her time and can do the job to the best of her abilities.

Carolyn Kiel: That’s fantastic. Yeah. It’s fantastic for her and what a great service she did for all of her colleagues who didn’t want to say anything about having problems with those meetings and not having time to do their work.

Alex Gilbert: And she had a very good relationship with her boss, and that was one of the things that was, you know, that doesn’t work for every company and that doesn’t work for every structure. And, you know, it can be very, you know, ballsy to be a new person and say something like that. And we wouldn’t have done that if that wasn’t something that she would have felt comfortable with or that she didn’t have that relationship with her boss, but it, it sounded like, it was just a dead end for everybody.

And, you know, that’s one of the things for people who have a learning disability or ADHD, one of those skills is, is being able to see the big picture and the little details all at once and being able to make changes very quickly, sometimes impulsively, but also seeing how to problem solve quickly. And it clearly was a problem. So that’s something that we, we worked on it. She’s doing great now. And I’m really proud of her.

Carolyn Kiel: Yeah, well, that’s fantastic. And that just goes to show that a lot of times, sometimes the supports that people with learning disabilities or who are neurodivergent may ask for, a lot of times they’re actually quite helpful for everybody, like not having three hour meetings.

Alex Gilbert: You know, that’s the thing that when I talk to my, my clients in my, my consulting piece, we talk about all of those different things. Like what can you do that supports someone who has a learning disability or ADHD, but really help people across the board? And I always talk about this example of how you can have a ramp to your door, and the ramp is now accessible by someone who’s in a chair or has a walker, or has a stroller, or somebody who’s able bodied and has no problem, you know, walking up the ramp, but now it becomes accessible to everybody. So if you have created an environment that is inclusive and is accessible by everybody, everyone’s going to feel more comfortable to be themselves, to be more open, to be more productive because they’re now in this environment that supports it.

Carolyn Kiel: Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. So it definitely seems from talking to you here, that one of your superpowers is just being able to see this broader picture and help people even understand what kinds of supports they need and give them sort of the coaching and the courage and the structure in order to be able to have those conversations. What other superpowers would you describe that you have personally?

Alex Gilbert: That I have? Oh, well, I mean, it is seeing the bigger picture and little details all at once. I think one of the pieces that I have, that’s been maybe something that I’ve overcompensated for, but I am incredibly detail oriented and very, very observant. My parents have actually said this, that as a toddler, I could read people’s body language and emotions immediately. Like someone had come in, it was like our next door neighbor and somebody had passed away and she walked in the door, was talking to my mom and I went and grabbed her hand, sat with her on the couch and hugged her. I didn’t understand what was happening, but like, I, I could understand that there was somebody who needed me. That’s something that I’ve really taken that emotional intelligence and really supported people. If I could read how you’re feeling and I could understand and empathize, it makes me better at figuring out a way to support you.

And that I think has been an incredible gift, but it’s also that detail oriented piece. As I said, Mrs. Paley, Mildred Paley, who was this resource room teacher who I had, helped me create structure in a way that made sense to me. And it’s made me be able to create structure for people in the way that made sense to them.

So I can, I mean, if you saw my desk, it looks a little Marie Kondo in one part of my desk, but my closet’s a mess. It doesn’t have to be perfect in all ends, but I’m okay with that. So it’s those types of things that I think are really special and are super powers and I’ve embraced it and not everyone has that. And that’s okay. Everybody else has skills too, but I love being able to embrace who you are and having diversity because that’s what brings change and innovation. And that’s important.

Carolyn Kiel: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Those are great super powers to have and to bring forth into the work that you’re doing now with other people and really help them. More long-term, what are your goals for Cape-Able Consulting? Where do you want to see it grow to?

Alex Gilbert: Oh, I have so many goals. I, I would, my overall goal is really to support adults who are in the workplace right now, who are struggling with their day to day, who are really internalizing a lot of what they’re dealing with because they’re afraid to talk to their bosses and their coworkers and other things, but dealing with it at home. It’s not like you can turn a switch on and off and pretend that like you don’t have ADHD at the end of the day. It’s not how that works, but I want people to know their strengths and I want to find a way to support as many people as I can, whether they’re listening to it on a podcast or reading my blog or they’re working with me one-on-one or they’re taking one of my workshops. I want to be able to empower people to feel their best, know that they have these incredible strengths and really work through that moving forward.

So that’s just the overarching goal. I think I’m doing that and hoping to continue to do that. And eventually I’ll move into different spaces of working with college students and working with families whose kids are being diagnosed for the first time and doing all of that. But I’m years away from that.

And one of the things that I taught my clients and what I’m teaching myself is in order to set myself up for success and set them up for success, I have to be realistic with my expectations. So right now it’s to find a few more clients so that I could really find the best way to support them, work on some workshops that I know are really relevant to how people are feeling in the workplace and at home, and hope that the messaging out there is relevant and validating for a lot of people so that they can get the support they need, whether it’s from me or from another coach.

Carolyn Kiel: Right. Oh, that’s fantastic. Wonderful. Wow. So, yeah, Alex, thanks so much for being on my podcast. How can people get in touch with you if they want to learn more about the consulting and the coaching that you do?

Alex Gilbert: Sure. So one of the things I also should mention is, I do something called Declutter Your Mind session. It’s 30 minutes and it’s free and it’s basically a brain dump. If you’re just overwhelmed and you need some help trying to figure out that structure for you moving forward, you can reach out to me. But you can find me on my website, which as I mentioned, I spell capable my own way. So it’s Cape-Able, CapeAbleConsulting.com. Or you can find me on Instagram at iamcapeable, again, C A P E , or Facebook and LinkedIn it’s Cape-Able Consulting LLC.

Carolyn Kiel: Awesome. And I’ll put links to those websites in the show notes so that people can click on them when they’re listening here. Awesome. So as we close out, is there anything else that you’d like our listeners to know or anything else that they can either help or support you with?

Alex Gilbert: I would say if you know someone who is struggling with ADHD, maybe learning disability, they know it, they’ve been diagnosed, if they don’t, find a way to reach out to me or find a coach that really speaks to them. I think one of the most important things you can do is build your support team, whether that’s a coach, or a doctor for medication if that’s something that you’re looking for, or a good therapist to deal with some of the troubles that you’ve been having because of having learning disability. Your support team needs to fit with you, drive with you and make you feel your best and know that you feel supported and vulnerable. And it’s okay to be in a safe space. Nothing can go wrong in that bubble. And I want you to know that it’s out there. Just find us.

Carolyn Kiel: That’s awesome. Absolutely appreciate that. Well, thanks again, Alex, for being on my podcast today, I really enjoyed talking with you and learning more about your story and the way that you help people.

Alex Gilbert: Thank you for having me.

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